5 first message writing strategies for online dating
It’s not easy to break the ice in any setting. Putting oneself out there, whether at a bar, a party, or online, can be an awkward and frightening experience, even for typically extroverted people. In general, though, being alone for the rest of your life is likely to be more awkward and frightening than putting yourself out there. So, though being proactive is unpleasant, we don’t have a choice. But, fortunately for Zooskers, breaking the ice online is a lot easier and less intimidating than approaching someone in person. You won’t have to deal with a mob of people staring at you, you can think about what to say for a long time, and you’ll know that the individuals you’re approaching are also single and looking for love — after all, they’re on a dating site. With that understanding and the following pointers in mind, you’ll find that breaking the ice online isn’t as difficult as you might think. You might be surprised at how much fun you have while doing it.
5. Don’t be frightened. Try to maintain your composure, even though your gut is knotted and you can hardly type. “What do I have to lose?” ask yourself as you splash cold water on your face and stare in the mirror. The person on the other end of the message isn’t going to publicly reject you, and if nothing comes of your attempt, you’ll never have to see this person in person. The worst that can happen is that you’ll receive an “I’m not interested” message, which you can easily delete from your Zooskbox trash. You can also do what we do and pretend it never happened if you receive no response at all. The ability to divide and conquer is a wonderful thing. That’s it.
4. Take care of your homework. Before sending that first message, take the time to read someone’s date card. I know a lot of us are quick to message people who grab our eye, but it helps to know a little something about them before you hit “send.” And we know that’s exactly what your fellow Zooskers want you to do based on the feedback we’ve gotten. “Before flirting or mailing – please – read the card,” Zoosker Elizabetta comments in our Community Forums. Don’t only take a peek at the picture! Consider whether we have anything in common and why she would be interested in me. There’s a reason she wrote everything.” “The finest flirt I ever got was from a lady who wrote something that showed she had at least read my profile,” Damien explains. I thank her to this day for her forthrightness and warm response.” Tailor-made messages, like tailor-made clothing, are more comfortable. You’ll see what I mean.
3. Take a deep breath and relax. The phrase “cool it down” isn’t just a line from one of our favorite Velvet Underground songs. When it comes to dating, it’s also good to advise. “Girls get tired of clichéd statements like, ‘you are so gorgeous, you have such wonderful eyes, I think I’m in love, I’ve died and gone to heaven, don’t wake me, I must be dreaming, let’s do it, your so hot, etc.’ says Zoosker Nathaniel. Pick-up lines should never be used. They are ineffective.” The same applies to boys; if you congratulate someone too often, they’ll think you’re creepy, especially if you don’t know them. Also, although being tongue-in-cheek is one thing, being vulgar is another, and it’s all too easy to fall into the latter when trying to be the former. The easiest way to approach a first message is to keep it in the realm of “friendship.” Maintain a light and airy atmosphere. You’ve got lots of time to improve things, so be patient for now.
2. Avoid TMITMI (too much information about oneself) on a first date, and it’s also a no-no in a first communication. When someone talks too much about themselves, it usually indicates that they have a serious listening problem, which is a turnoff. If things work out between you and your potential mate, they’ll learn everything there is to know about you in due time. There’s no need to immediately tell someone everything about your life. Keep an eye on the size of your letter as well. Don’t send a haiku, but don’t write a novel either. While you should include enough material to pique someone’s interest, don’t overdo it to the point that they fall asleep while scrolling. Also, make sure that at least some of your sentences conclude in a question mark. Asking questions in your letter, rather than chatting constantly about yourself, is a good way to generate a response.
1. Check your spelling. Prepare ahead of time. Please don’t do that. Grammar is also seductive. Never undervalue the importance of a typo-free letter. Typos — and grammatical errors – are obnoxious blips that detract from the authenticity and pleasure of expressing yourself on paper. Can you imagine what Sonnet 18 would be like if Shakespeare wrote instead of “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day,” “Shall I compare the 2 a summer’s dai?” May’s delicate buds are shaken by strong gusts. Before copying and pasting your message back into Zoosk, do a simple grammar and spell check on it in Microsoft Word – or have someone proofread it for you – if you’re concerned about its grammatical integrity. We promise it won’t be difficult. We’ve heard Zooskers complain about spelling and grammar in the past, and you don’t want to be one of those people. Don’t write like a LOLCat; you’re a human, not a LOLCat. It’s a meow. Below is a sample first message we quickly scribbled as a work of example to give you an idea of what a good first message might sound like.
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Hello, My name is _____, and I was quite impressed with what you said in your profile! We have several interests in common, such as synchronized swimming and live-action role-playing games. We also seem to have quite similar musical tastes. The best death metal comes from Norway! What is your favorite musical group? Also, I saw you have a pet turtle in your photo. Rick, my pet turtle, is also my pet! He’s a thirty-five-year-old man. Do you own any other animals? I’m a vegetarian who adores animals, and I’m delighted to learn that you are as well. Anyway, I’m looking forward to hearing from you because you seem quite fascinating. Have a wonderful day! Best wishes, See how simple it was? Even if you don’t believe you’d respond to such a message, I’m confident the pet-turtle-owning, Norwegian death metal-loving, synchronized swimming LAR would. Perceiving that message would be beneficial. Tagged: Zoosk, community, community moderation, dating advice, dating, and romance, dating stories, love